Lucifer has forced a face-to-face confrontation with Sam, and has much more control of the situation than Sam, Dean or Crowley thought.
Crowley: Boy oh boy. Mum! Mum, I got a Sam!
Rowena: Good for you, dearie.
Satan-Santa: Ho ho ho ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! Ho ho ho.
Crowley: What’d you bring me? What’d you bring me?
Satan-Santa: Oh, let’s see what Santa got for you today. Muhahahaha ho ho ho.
Crowley: But—I was a good boy!
Satan-Santa: Really, Rowena. This is what you dream about?
Rowena: It’s more of a recurring nightmare, actually. These don’t come off. I’ve been having this dream for months, but you, you’re new. Who are you?
Satan-Santa: Yeah, sorry, my manners are a bit rusty.
Sam: You. The visions. Everything. It was all you.
Lucifer: Impressive, right?
Sam: And Rowena?
Lucifer: Did as she was told. Groupies, they’re always so eager.
Sam: So you did all of that just to, to what? Jump my bones?
Sam: Well, you wasted your time, then. Cause, see, I know how this ends.
Lucifer: Oh, do you, now?
Sam: Yeah. You’ll taunt me, and er you’ll torture me, and I’ll say no. And eventually, sooner than you think, my brother’s gonna walk through that door and kick your ass.
Lucifer: Ha! Dean? You’re betting on Dean?
Sam: I always have.
Lucifer: Oh, Sam, you got me all wrong.
Sam: Ha. Yeah, I doubt that.
Lucifer: Oh, no. I I’m not here to torture ya. I mean, I could. I could inflict pain like you can’t even imagine. I could inflict such delicious, perfect pain. But that was so five years ago. No, I’m not gonna harm a glorious little hair on that glorious little head.
Sam: Then what do you want?
Lucifer: To make you an offer you can’t refuse.
Lucifer: You see, Sam, you need me. And I’m gonna prove it to you.
Lucifer: Recognise it?
Lucifer: We’re in a memory, Sam. One of the few good ones from your childhood. By the way, I thought I had daddy issues, but you? Wow. Anyway, I think you recognise the dashing young beanpole over there.
Sam: That’s me.
Lucifer: Look at that, Sam. A simple girl from a one-stoplight town, and you, the worldly, handsomeish Sam Winchester. No, she didn’t stand a chance. You remember?
Sam: Yeah. Why are you?
Lucifer: Shh, shh, shh. This is the best part.
Lucifer: Boom! That’s it. That’s what I’m talking about right there, man.
Lucifer: Nah, Sam. This is the Sam Winchester that I remember. Bold, decisive. A solid B on the tongue action.
Sam: What is this about?
Lucifer: You used to be a hero, Sam. Hell, you beat me. Now? I don’t know I look at you I don’t even recognise you anymore.
Sam: Stull cemetery.
Lucifer: Bingo. Where the title fight went down.
Lucifer: Ass butt? I still don’t get that.
Sam: Look I appreciate the stroll down memory lane, but
Lucifer: Sam, have I ever told you how much I respect you?
Lucifer: Oh, don’t get me wrong. I don’t like you. I’ve never liked you. You’re, you’re sort of prissy. But in this moment, when you stood toe-to-toe with me and won, I got to say, you had balls, kid.
Lucifer: You were willing to do the hard thing if it meant saving the world.
Lucifer: That’s not you anymore. You’ve gone soft, Sammy.
Lucifer: Here’s where it all changed, Sammy
Lucifer: This is the worst thing you’ve ever done.
Lucifer: After the Leviathans, when your brother was trapped in Purgatory, you were here, with a girl and a dog. You didn’t even bother trying to find him.
Sam: You know what? Not that I have to defend myself to you, but Dean and I promised we wouldn’t look for each other.
Lucifer: Right, and if he never came back, you’d be fine. But he did, so you’re not. Whatever happened to the Sam Winchester who was bold, decisive, and ready to sacrifice for the greater good?
Sam: Right here.
Lucifer: And so why did you let Dean talk you out of closing the Gates of Hell? Because the old Sam never would’ve done that, not ever.
Sam: I didn’t.
Lucifer: No, wait, here’s my personal favourite, is you doing every stupid thing you could to cure the Mark, even after you knew it would go bad.
Sam: My brother was dying.
Lucifer: Yes, and you’d do anything to save him, and he’d do anything to save you, and that is the problem. Because of this, you’re so overcome by guilt that you can’t stand to lose Dean again, and he could never lose you. And so instead of choosing the world, you choose each other, no matter how many innocent people die.
Sam: You’re gonna lecture me about hurting people? You?
Lucifer: You know I’m right, Sam. You know it. And I know that if you’re gonna beat the Darkness, you have to be ready to die. You have to be ready to watch the people you love die. A long time ago, you could’ve fought the good fight, kid, but not anymore. You can’t win this one, Sam. You’re just not strong enough.
Sam: And you are?
Lucifer: Hey, snapping necks and cashing checks, it’s what I do.
Lucifer: Now, Sam… I know this was a lot to take in, so if you need to, take some time and noodle on it, that’s cool. But, uh, the world is ending, clock ticking and such, if you follow me.
Sam: What do you want me to say?
Lucifer: A little word, uh, starts with Y ends in ES. Okay, you don’t like me. I get it. I get it. Sometimes I don’t like me, either. But Gabriel and Raphael are dead. God went out for a pack of smokes and never came back. And Michael? Well let’s just say prison life hasn’t really agreed with Michael. These days, he’s usually sitting in a corner, singing show tunes and touching himself.
Sam: So you’re it?
Lucifer: I’m it! And, hey, I’m not the good guy. We, we both know I’m not, but, uh, the Darkness? She’s the end of everything. But I can beat her. We can beat her. You and me. Together. So come on, Sam. Make the right choice. The big sacrifice one more time, man. Sam. It’s time to save the world, man.
Sam: No. No.
Lucifer: What do you mean, no?
Sam: You heard me.
Lucifer: Okay, now, Sam, I got to tell you, this is selfish, man. Everything that Sam: You are done. It’s over. You know what? You talk a good game. You do. Hell, you almost had me sold a few times, but then I thought, what if you’re right? What if you’re telling the truth? What, what if you can beat her?
Lucifer: I can!
Sam: Even though, last time, it took you plus three other archangels. Oh, yeah, and capital G—God.
Lucifer: Oh, okay, what, you mean the dead weight?
Sam: But let’s say you gank her. Then what?
Lucifer: Move to LA. Solve crimes.
Sam: Wrong. Then you go about starting the Apocalypse again because you’re an old dog, and that’s your old trick.
Lucifer: Okay, first off, you don’t know that. Second, even if I did, that’s better than what she has planned.
Sam: Is it? Really? Because this is what I think. I think that whoever wins, you or the Darkness, everyone else loses. So, no. My answer is no. This isn’t cause of Dean or or or the past. This is about me having faith in my friends, having faith in my family. We will find a way. I’m ready to die. And I’m ready to watch people I love die. But I’m not ready to be your bitch.
Lucifer: Okay. Plan B.
Castiel: Hey, ass butt!
Lucifer: Dean. Uh, the other one. Welcome to the party.
Dean: Not even a little.
Lucifer: Uh uh uh uh uh. Moments like this, it’s all about ambience.
Lucifer: I can beat the Darkness. Me, only me. Who are these two? They’re a couple of apes. You know I’m right, Castiel. You know it. You want to play that way?
Sam: We can’t win
Dean: We don’t have to win. We just have to last a few minutes.
Lucifer: You hit like a human.
Lucifer: All right, Sam. I’m gonna make this real easy for you. You say the magic word, or your brother dies, And we both know you won’t let that happen.
Lucifer: So? Last words?
Cassifer: Guess again!
Lucifer: Last words?
Castiel: Can you really beat her?
Lucifer: I can.
Castiel: Then, yes.
Cassifer: I’m back, baby!
Crowley: It can’t be. You finished the spell!
Rowena: But if he was already in another vessel
Crowley: Bloody hell.
Loophole, indeed. Sadly, that’s Mark out of Supernatural for a few episodes, but he’ll be back!