We have to deal with two simultaneous things: The problem of loss and the problem of living. They have to happen simultaneously. This means that you’re dealing with grieving in the middle of living your life. And that’s not an easy task, folks. It’s certainly not easy.
Grief’s potential: And the grieving can even enhance your sense of value of life. And it can even enhance your sense of value of the person that you’ve lost and morph in a sense into something positive, something life-affirming.
Doing both: But I’ve noticed that I can do both. It’s actually quite empowering to know that as deep a loss as I’ve experienced this time, and as deep a loss as I’ve experienced a few other times in my life, I’ve been able to carry on with my life and even excel and get better as a result.
Allowing emotion: But throughout that whole process, I never inhibit my emotional life. I let whatever feelings are coming up as a result of the grief flow through me. Now, of course, there are times when I have to somewhat keep a cap on it, right?
The danger of repression: But I think it’s the repression of feeling, it’s the denial of feeling, it’s the denial of the loss and the importance of that loss to you that I think causes psychological scars and issues that doesn’t enable you to move beyond where you are.
Moving beyond: And by moving beyond, it doesn’t mean that you’ve suddenly stopped valuing that thing as much anymore or you’ve forgotten about that thing or that person anymore. It means you’ve learned to incorporate the grief process into your life much more effectively.
